Grocery Shopping

Let me start off by saying that I think grocery shopping should be an Olympic sport. If this were the case, I would definitely be a medal winner...I don't think I have ever taken longer than twenty minutes in a grocery store when alone and on a time crunch (No, I am not counting the times that I go to the grocery store namely to look at the delicious food and imagine myself eating it all).

My mother on the other hand.... She would be on the Dijibouti team. I say this because Dijibouti is tied with quite a few other countries with the alltime least Olympic medals (tied at 1) and they would be the only team to accept her as a grocery shopping team member. My mother superfails at grocery shopping. Even with a list. I think she might have some sort of attention deficit problem, because she will like, "Alright, now let's get some milk and go home. Oh my goodness, are those chow mein noodles in a can?!" She is also nearly incapable of finding new things on her own. She nearly always asks the SuperOne stockermen where things are located. I have said this many times, and I will say it again: Mother, look up. Up in the sky. See the signs with words on them? They tell you what's in the aisle.


Apparently, this is incomprehendable. "Signs in the sky? Pffft! I've fallen for that one before! Next thing I know, you'll be telling me that gullible is written on the ceiling! Psh.

Grocery shopping should be considered an Olympic sport because it envelops the following things:

-Strength
-Flexibility
-Stamina
-Will-power

One must be able to carry all items they retrieve. This includes fifty pound bags of cat litter, and/or this fifty pound bag of rice, if you're into that sort of thing.


One must also test their flexibility by getting to those hard to reach places. This is easy peasy for me, as I tower over everything at a whopping 6 feet tall.

One must be able to stand and walk for long periods of time, especially if one is grocery shopping with my mother.

And finally, one must show strength of mind by not tearing open all foodstuffs and bathing in their contents. Or eating them. Either/or.

I believe that I have presented a very valid case for grocery shopping as an Olympic sport and hope that the Olympic Sport Choosing Committee will take this under advisement.


Peace out, girlscout. :)